The Agency That Sets The Marketing Bar
& Continues To Raise It

Founder of Hot Stone Massage, Inc (aka HSM), Stone spends 37% of his working day simply rubbing people at the office.

And as we thought he couldn’t be more entrepreneurial, he secures an influencer deal with Pantene.

He’s deathly afraid of confetti though.

Miguel was raised by wolves.

Just like Selena Gomez.

Are they related?

Yes. But not in the genetic sense.

They both used to date Dave Chappelle’s mom and love pooping outdoors.

Being the heiress of Sandro Botticelli, it makes sense that Lindsay’s creativity matches that of the Sistine Chapel.

Yea.

That’s a pretty big f***ing deal.

If it were true.

Instead, Lindsay eats cannolis.

Dalton has hit some rough patches lately.

– Kid’s birthday parties that he used to DJ for have been shut down due to COVID-19.
– He paid $120 for a $24 box of Omaha Steaks (without any potato gratin).
– Stone stopped giving free Pantene Pro-V samples to him.

And to top it all off, his GoFundMe was featured on RuinMyWeek.com, only to be beat by the girl trying to raise money to remove her forehead tattoo.

#PrayersUp

Harrison loves the sound a push broom makes on concrete.

So much that he allowed us to record his reaction (that’s the push broom on the left, Harrison on the right).

Is his job stressful you ask?

Yes, that’s why he gambles all his money away playing pop-a-shot.

Who else has a soft spot for rollerblading while wine tasting?

If it wasn’t for Christmas decorations, then we’re sure Beth would be the Michael Jordan of Roller Derbys.

Instead, she has that one month out of the year that complete f***s with her training routine.

Here’s a look at her last practice.

Not good.

NERD ALERT

You know you’re in deep when you justify enjoying:
– The Book of Boba Fett
– The Rise of Skywalker
– & Jabba The Hutt (in general)

His favorite candy is Skittles because it starts with the same letter as Star Wars?!

Jesus, Rob.

Vincent: “Knock knock”

KlientBoost: “Who’s there?”

Vincent: “The Jay-Z of Digital Marketing”

KlientBoost: “Who?”

Vincent: “The Jay-Z of….”

KlientBoost: “Cares?”

Johnathan has a spending problem. Don’t believe us?

How about a 26’ inflatable Santa, one of everything on restaurant menus, four ping pong tables, and a Onewheel skateboard that almost took his life, just to name a few.

He also thinks he’s an Instagram influencer with hopes and dreams of being sponsored by Truff Sauce, Nike, Space Jam, and the country of Denmark.

If you work with any of these organizations please hit him up @GoldChainDane and end our misery.

For someone who continuously likes to touch his own butt (see previous photoshoot pic here), Michael is surprisingly hands off.

Being the top Spotify ASMR artist 3 years in a row, Michael has won numerous (2) internal Grammys for his #1 track: “Sippin’ on La Croix”

Okay, we lied.

But he does like touching his own butt.

Oh look! Another last name that terrifies us.

Truman was a professional croquet player before lying to us about it.

Now he tells us he used to take breakdancing classes at the age of 12?

Like, you literally have to take numerous breaks from dancing with him to avoid embarrassment.

Ha!

Suck it, Truman.

Being the offspring of Henry Ford and Thomas E. Wilson, Amy decided it wasn’t enough with just two dads.

She decided to recruit another dad, Albert Goodwill Spalding, and to keep things consistent, decided to just add “General Motors” to her last name.

She gets what she wants.

Especially during online shopping sprees after a little glass of wine.

Suffering from too much success, Reese is the world’s leading archivist of DJ Khaled Snapchat screenshots.

Want him to do something for you?

Just add the word, “Wagyu” next to it.

Don’t believe us? Then look at this.

Best part about having interns is that you can get them to do almost anything.

Set up Christmas lights? Check.
Hide Smirnoff Ice’s? Check.
Learn a little bit of marketing? Check.

We’re just waiting until we can send Hannah to go buy us more alcohol.

True intern ROI.

In classic American style, Izzy thinks it’s worth noting that he “back packed” in Europe for two months.

Wow, Izzy.

That’s “impressive”.

You know what’s impressive?

Your inability to kick a soccer ball ⚽️.

Before Mario joined the KlientBoost team, he asked a very important question that we were unsure of how to answer.
The conversation went something like this:

Mario: So the pay, benefits, and perks are cool and all, but can I make butts?

KlientBoost: Uhhhh… what do you mean by, butts?

Mario: Like, booty cheeks. Gluteus maximus, tush, you know, this thing.. (he then stands up on Zoom and turns around)

KlientBoost: Ahhhh… Thanks for the demonstration. We guess so?

Mario: Rad, I’m in.

And since then, he has produced some unique posteriors for us that you can find here, here, here, here, and here.

We don’t know where Tyler spends his time, but he was once at a bank that got robbed.

He was also held up at gunpoint with his grandma at a HomeTown Buffet.

He’s not the only person willing to get a KlientBoost tattoo.

He also plays banjo.

Ali is 8 foot, 3 inches tall.

And we didn’t even have to measure her.

We could tell by the altitude of the confetti pop.

No wonder she assisted on a cataract surgery at age 16.

#OverAchiever

Have you ever worked with a celebrity? Neither has Matt, because he is one.

During his high school years, Matt was chosen to be on a popular MTV show.

He likes to think of himself as a “bad boy”, and while he doesn’t get paid a regular salary, he does gets paid in Red Lobster gift cards.

If he does an exceptional job, then we’ll make it fancier for him and give him a Cheesecake Factory gift card.

Nicolette got her foot run over at age 12 and broke ZERO bones.

What she didn’t tell us was that it was a tricycle.

In her dreams.

From a Sesame Street episode she watched.

Her biggest fear today is the Fire Elmo GIF.

Gabe isn’t your typical marketer.

He’s tiny and hard to find.

What’s even worse is that he loves wet clay (it’s a weakness of his).

Has he watched Ghost with Patrick Swayze & Demi Moore?

No.

But does he know how to work the clay? Absolutely.

Emily says she can tell when people are lying to her, but she’s also the most gullible person at the office.

We’ll ask how that’s working out for her, and instead of answering, she pulls out her dog sticker book instead.

Weird right? We know.

She also paints her boyfriends toenails while he’s sleeping…

Growing up in the poor streets of the Czech Republic, Shelby came to the US determined to be a pro baller.

She quickly found out that ball isn’t life, but instead that Czech meatballs are.

Now that hoops dreams are off the table, she tells us that she aspires to have as much drip as an A$AP Rocky Babushka.

But we hate to tell her that her salary might only allow her to look like a true babushka (with no dental insurance either. Gotta stay on brand).

Ivette has a turtle named Myrtle and dog named Bog.

She also has a cat named Rat and a bird named Turd.

Is she the modern day Steve Irwin?

Yes.

When it comes to her auditing the SEO of potential clients.

You’ve never met a more American person than Courtney.

She got her first boyfriend using the pick up line: “On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?“

And if driving with the top off your Jeep, blasting Taylor Swift, and eating Freedom Fries doesn’t immediately make you want to pet your bald eagle, then can you really call yourself a patriot?

Also, her shower curtain is the Declaration of Independence.

Hanging with Phil is like going back in time.

To a time where laughing happens more often.

To a time that was simpler.

To a time where you have enough time to watch Karen Freakout compilations on YouTube (10 million views. Seriously worth the watch).

Born and raised in Utah, Kimball got the short end of the stick when his LDS church sent him on a mission… to Salt Lake City.

Beating depression with George, Kimball started working on another passion of his – cooking meatball alfredo subs (this is him, but not his hand).

Is he allergic to homemade tomato sauce and confetti?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

If one thing’s for sure, Brandon is not “wet” on the basketball court.

Earning the nickname “Dryday”, Brandon deals with constant bullying at KlientBoost.

Seeking comfort in “Short Range Jordan Huynh“, both spend most of their days looking at YouTube tutorial videos on how to beat Johnathan Dane.

Little do they know that’s impossible, because he also writes these bios.

Double L, Brandon.